5 Tips that Build Greater Communication
By Craig Ross and Steven W. Vannoy
Based on concepts in the upcoming book, "Leadership Gold" by Steven W. Vannoy and Craig Ross.
When we ask business leaders and marriage therapists what's the number one problem with ineffective relationships, the answer is almost always "poor communication." Because good business is built upon relationships, and relationships are established and sustained by communication, successful organizations make communication a priority.
Every one of us has experienced attempting to do a job without full information. Without necessary information, poorer quality, an erosion of trust, lower job satisfaction and dismal results are assured. A successful leader doesn't engage in the game of telling others, "C'mon, we've got to communicate." He or she knows that effective communication must be modeled - and it starts with them. Top leaders also understand that communication is a skill that must be learned.
Finally, the most effective leaders in any arena know that the ability to communicate well is a strategic advantage; people want to be around those who communicate well. We want to be around leaders.
To enhance your team's ability to serve your clients and each other, try these tips to enhancing your communication:
1) Build the Individual.
Ghandi once encouraged us to BE the change we wanted to see in others. Those who haven't heeded this advice often approach communicating with others as a forum to change the other person. When this is the motive, undoubtedly, a person can sense this in the pit of their stomach. Each of us knows a fundamental truth: very few of us want to be "fixed" by someone else.
Each of us, however, are very attracted to individuals who believe we already have what it takes to make the right decisions, to be successful. Ironically, when we're around people like that, we ask them for their advice!
Every word counts. And every word reflects how we feel about a person, an issue or an event. What are you really communicating with your words? Starting today: How can you develop a greater ability to build another person, rather than trying to fix them?
2) What's Important and Why
Most of us, when around others, operate with a natural desire to be in alignment. We shy away from people who keep us guessing. At the same time, we can smell an empty platitude a mile away, and will naturally seek those who can articulate clearly what they mean.
Building on the first step above, effective leaders now communicate two things: what's important to them and why it's important. They do this in an economy of words, but with their passion for their work - and people - driving every sentence.
Frequently this message is expressed as "This is what is important to me/ our team/ organization and here's the reason why..." Immediately, the person uttering these words begins to create an environment where others feel comfortable sharing what is important to them. And in our passion to serve, that's key information!
Starting today: What are the opportunities where you can more clearly articulate what's important to you and your organization - and why?
3) It's about Them.
The best sales people are really leaders. They know that they're not really 'selling', rather they are serving others by leading them to the results they desire. And they know this isn't going to happen if the sales person is talking, and their client isn't.
Too much "telling" is as valuable as passing out junk bonds. After stating what's important to them and why, leaders who spend most of their time asking questions gain a competitive advantage. Sure, they gain valuable information that will allow them to 'make the sale.' But for leaders who see their job as an opportunity to serve and create life-long relationships, questions are a vehicle to inspire growth in both parties. They send the clear message that all ideas count.
No one wants to be around someone who communicates to us; we want to be around people who communicate with us. Great leaders know this. What questions can you ask more of that build the relationships you desire?
4) Listen for Greater Understanding
Listening is one of the most powerful leadership tools on the planet, yet often the most under-utilized. Ask a person what they appreciate most about their best friend, and almost always one of the top answers is: they listen. Chances are, these friends are not just listening to the words, they're listening for greater understanding. These leaders know that communication isn't played in one card, words. Therefore, they listen to what's behind the words - to everything that's not being said - so they can serve at the highest level. Who do you want to build a greater relationship with today by listening for greater understanding?
5) Build Trust
Sincerely acknowledging a person for something they have just accomplished builds amazing bridges within relationships. This, of course, only sets individuals open for greater information flow in the future. But savvy leaders have taken this to a new level. In addition to acknowledging the accomplishment of a task, they search for opportunities to acknowledge a person for a quality they admire.
"I have to tell you that I admire your level of integrity. It means a lot to me." Watch out! When sincere comments like this are made, trust goes to new levels. And with it, communication.
We communicate with people we trust. Who do you want to build greater trust with by acknowledging them for specific qualities?
Communication is a skill. Like any other skill, it can be improved. Those who choose to proactively build their ability in this area, out perform those who don't. Not because they're able to more effectively influence others, but because they more apt to build relationships.
(c) 2003 Pathways to Leadership, Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
