Here are some true stories -- sometimes heartwarming, sometimes funny, always instructive -- that focus on home.

Communicating vs. Screaming

My son, age 11 and my 2 granddaughters, ages 9 and 7 were fighting all the time about everything: what movie to watch, who got to sit in the "favorite" chair, etc. There were times it would become physical. What I would have done in the past is tell them to stop, or I would end up screaming at them or just put them in their rooms.

After experiencing Pathways to Leadership, I began asking them what they thought started the fight. I asked them if the issue was important enough to want to hurt each other. I also had them make a list of 10 things they like about each other and then we shared them. It brought many giggles and smiles all around. I have them keep their lists and if things go down the low road, I ask them to read the list again.

I stayed on the high road and did not yell. We (the 4 of us) now try to resolve issues with communication.

The results have been priceless!! There are less disagreements and more communication. They can now agree on a movie or game together. I think they respect each other more. One big change between Alex and Alana is now she will not eat the last of the vanilla ice cream because she knows that it is the only kind Alex likes! That may sound silly but in the past it caused many fights between those two. I'm happy to say we now have more magic moments than unhappy moments.

Shelly T, TP Mechanical

 

High School Challenge

I was having a challenge getting the young men I coach at a high school to work harder and be more motivated in the weight room. In the past, I would have yelled, gotten in their faces, and made them do extra running or push-ups.

Recently however, I tried using the 3 Conditions that Support Change. When I found myself getting frustrated where I knew the kids weren't giving the full 100% effort, I sat them down at the beginning of the workout. We discussed our successes that we had made and I told them that they were doing a great job and working hard but there was a need for improvement. Then I asked them forward focused questions on how and what we as a team can do to get better.

The impact was amazing and they all gave feedback and ideas. That lifting, they worked out the hardest they have this off-season and it has continued ever since. Now they pick up each other to work harder.

Kyle F, TP Mechanical