The Balanced Life Tool of Tools

Dale Hite (CIBA Vision)

The HOMEWARD BOUND FRAMEWORK is the "tool of tools" that helps us live the balanced lives we all desire. We may think that our work is somewhat unique from others (e.g. spouses) in that we are never fully finished! There is always more to do or another email to read or another plan to develop another phone call to return.

A friend of mine once made a comment to me that His work is Who he IS, it is what he is about. Entrepreneurs often live and breathe their work. I can reflect on this and believe I as well have practiced this behavior, being fully enveloped in the activity, direction, strategy of my work as well as attempting to be engaging and caring of the associates with whom I work. While minimizing this same engaging commitment with my family, friends, church, etc.....I have often quoted, "we work to live, NOT live to work." I have to admit I have not lived this consistently.

Ending my day and practicing "ALL IN" with my family, spouse and children has long been a challenge for me. I frequently would work late, impacting my ability to meet commitments with children and spouse activities. I am frequently caught with my "CrackBerry" during personal activities. My family generally would roll their eyes and just exclaim "stop working" or "Dad is always late, he'll show up when he gets done with work." Reflecting now, I see how this didn't really physically hurt them (which was my rationalizing), but I did hurt my relationship with them, their ability to believe I loved and cared for them.....when I was normally making them second to work activity.

Now my kids are grown and gone from our home, so I shared with my wife my desire to relate differently. I shared the Homeward Bound tool steps (above). We have practiced a few times with each other at the end of the day, and the part we have enjoyed the most is the "3 greatest blessings in my life." My spouse and family are regulars in my list....my work hasn't yet made the list !! My ability and opportunity to work has made the list on occasion. My wife is my best friend and continues to work with me on this behavior. She often likes to answer the last question for me, "How can I be the best husband I've ever been tonight?"

Isn't it true that the people closest to us have the clearest view, yet overlook the largest flaws.

My relationship with my wife has always been very positive and supportive, in spite of my faults. I have enjoyed much more fully my time away from work, and am practicing being "ALL IN" at home. Recently my eldest daughter came home for a weekend visit. We spent much more focused time together doing simple things and talking about her life issues. This was much more enjoyable without my distraction of Crackberry or work emails or phone calls. She went home, with me feeling much better for her time invested in me and my attention to her.

Consider these wise words: