How to Strengthen Your Awareness Muscle

by Steven W. Vannoy

I continue to be reminded of the need to not only learn the Pathways to Leadership tools and concepts, but also to revisit them regularly and to consciously remind myself to use them so I can be the best that I can be. I'll give you a couple of recent examples that led me to this important realization.

After being overseas for a month, I arrived at the airport tired and hungry, and wanted to grab something to eat. I ordered a deli sandwich. While my sandwich was being made, however, I started second guessing my choice. "Should I have gone with a salad instead? Or perhaps a slice of pizza would have been better? I'm suddenly craving Chinese food." Does this sound familiar to you? Do you ever second-guess decisions that you already made? Does this provoke us to operate in degrees of strength or weakness?

By vacillating over a simple decision like what to have for lunch, I was disturbing my peace of mind and preventing my being on a roll. I was surely not using the Pathways tools I knew.

First, I needed to accept the lunch decision I made and stand by it. If I didn't like the sandwich I ordered, I would take responsibility for that and either eat it anyway or order something else. Even trickier, I had to act in an autonomous manner, meaning I would have to prevent myself from allowing how delicious other people's food looked to reinforce my self-doubt.

After satisfying my hunger, I boarded the airplane bound for Denver. I came upon a flight attendant who was difficult (he did not want me to have my jacket on my lap since I was seated in the exit row). I immediately noticed myself doofusing him, judging him, and quietly acknowledging what a jerk he was. I also noticed myself being a bit defensive and insulted that he had treated me so poorly. Again, does this exhibit degrees of strength or weakness? What is the cost to my well-being for becoming agitated with this guy? What are some questions that I could have asked myself to shift my focus? (You get the idea.)

This was a perfect reminder that I needed to fully see myself (and others) in degrees of strength to shift myself into a forward-focused mindset. Even though he was rude, if I had been in a non-defensive and autonomous state of mind, his poor attitude would have had no effect on me. I would have had a quiet mind-focusing on my feelings and the details of the great trip I just had, and maybe even deep down feel a sense of compassion to serve him. After all, I didn't know his circumstances. Maybe this was his fifth flight of the day, and he was operating on just a few hours of sleep. Or perhaps he just learned of some bad news about his family back home and being at work was the last place he wanted to be. We just never know what people are going through-rarely is their rudeness or impatience truly about us.

My "awareness muscle" is stronger now that I'm back in degrees of strength. What a difference it makes to my health and productivity! If there's a powerful lesson to be learned, it's to make sure we all remember the importance of operating in degrees of strength, when looking at both ourselves and other people.

Here's a challenge to each of us: Let's make it a priority to regularly strengthen our "awareness muscle" so we experience being on a roll and having a quiet mind more often and, ultimately, enhancing our quality of life.

(c) 2005 Pathways to Leadership, Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.