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Mirror Image By Steven W. Vannoy Long ago in a small, far away village there was a place known as the House of 1000 Mirrors. A small, happy little dog learned of this place and decided to visit. When he arrived, he bounced happily up the stairs to the doorway of the house. He looked through the doorway with his ears lifted high and found himself staring at 1000 other happy little dogs with their tails wagging just as fast as his. He smiled a great smile, and was answered with 1000 great smiles that were just as warm and friendly. As he left the house, he thought to himself, "This is a wonderful place. I will come back and visit often." In the same village, another little dog, who was not quite as happy as the first one, decided to visit the house. He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked in the door. When he saw the 1000 unfriendly looking dogs staring back at him, he growled at them and was horrified to see 1000 little dogs growling back at him. As he left, he thought to himself, "This is a horrible place, and I will never go back there again." -Author Unknown Doesn't this story ring true? Neither dog knew that the images they were seeing were reflections of themselves; they both thought they were surrounded by 1000 other dogs. Consider that all the faces in the world are mirrors. What kind of reflections do you see in the faces of the people you meet?		Steven Vannoy, President and Founder  Craig Ross, Director of Pathways
There are people who, when encountering others, immediately look for the good in them and focus on their positive traits. Therefore, they pleasantly find themselves surrounded by 1000 happy dogs (or in this case, 1000 happy people). When others know that you are seeing them this way -- in degrees of strength, they will be more likely to view you in the same light, holding in mind your strengths rather than your weaknesses. Ask yourself this: When others are looking at you, what is the reflection that they are seeing? Are they seeing someone who makes the most out of life and is able to navigate through challenges or someone who is quick to complain and bring everyone around them down? In your workplace, for example, do you know someone who is negative or quick to become irritable? This is one way a toxic work culture gets started. The negative employee reasons with himself by saying, "I'm not hurting anyone... I'm just going to keep to myself and do just the bare minimum to get by." This person is kidding himself. Colleagues can see in the mirror of that person's face and know how unpleasant and unhappy he is. Do you think his colleagues are going to want to be around this person? Can they count on him as a reliable member of the team? Will people ask for his help if they need assistance on a project, or will they potentially burn themselves out to get the project done on their own because no one will ask him to pitch in? Surrounding ourselves with positive people contributes to having an efficient, enjoyable and satisfying life. Positive energy breeds positive energy, and people in this kind of environment find themselves feeling good about themselves and the work that they are doing. Negative people, on the other hand, can lower a group's morale, confidence, and energy. So what is the answer? Well, obviously we cannot control the behaviors of others, but we can control what we do and say. Here are some ideas: Try to get the "unhappy" person to see the positive side of things, even when life is anything but easy. Ask forward-focused questions-questions that encourage people to think and explore the value of their ideas and contributions. Questions such as, "When you finish your marketing report, how is that going to help our organization secure a new client?" These questions put someone in a positive mindset and recharge their energy because in their answer they will be reminding themselves of their value to the company. Complimenting a negative person when he does something positive can be a terrific way to support someone in shifting from a negative mindset to a more positive one. Keep your compliments simple, specific and selective. A quick, "what a great idea you came up with in yesterday's meeting," is just enough to make that person feel valued. It is important to keep compliments specific, nothing too broad. For example, an ideal way to communicate that someone did a good job when making a presentation would be, "You did a great job presenting our research to the team. I especially admired how you addressed the challenging question that John brought up…your answer was right on target." Finally, remember to be selective. If you give someone compliments on every little thing that they do, you lose credibility and your comments are not seen as genuine. Remembering that your face and actions are a mirror that people will see is another way to enhance the wellness of those around you. When you're challenged with a situation that leaves you feeling negative and stressed, try to constructively deal with it in a healthy way: Talk it out with someone you trust, exercise, meditate, etc. Whatever works for you. When we are able to maintain our sense of wellness and keep our spirits up when faced with uncomfortable situations, we are able to handle the situation in a more sensible manner than if we focused solely on everything we wish we could change. Additionally, when others witness how well you handle challenging circumstances, it is a strong reminder that while we cannot always control negative situations, we can control how we respond and react to them. How many people do you come in contact with each day? Whether it's your family, friends, the guy in the elevator or your colleagues, you have an opportunity (even if it is just for a moment) to enhance their lives. If they look at you and see a positive and energetic image, they are likely to feel that positive energy and become more uplifted themselves. Think about the ripple effect that will create! You have the power to enhance someone's life today just by seeing the best in others and the best in ourselves. Now go take a quick look in the mirror and absorb your image. What does your reflection say about you? How will your image and expressions affect those you will see today…tomorrow…next month? Which dog do you most relate to? More importantly, which do you most want to be?

(c) 2005 Pathways to Leadership, Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.