Practicing What We Preach....

by Steven W. Vannoy

Do I use this leadership stuff too?

It's no secret that those who teach leadership don't always walk the talk back in the home office. In other words, the training gurus don't consistently use the tools and concepts in their own lives, and many are swimming in a highly toxic, dysfunctional culture - a culture that blatantly
lacks cooperation, trust, motivation, and high creativity and productivity.

I want you to know how diligent the staff and I have to be every single day to stay on a roll and use the Pathways tools that we teach. And there are days we really struggle, but overall, having the discipline to live with wellness has an awesome payoff.

We moved to our new organizational development offices last July, and boy were we jazzed about our new capacity to serve. And as might be expected, the last few months have been very busy and stressful. Thankfully, the Pathways tools have been such a priceless blessing to me! Here's how:

1. Taking a Magic Moment

At stressful moments, I've taken many long pauses, what we call a Magic Moment, rather than reacting and possibly causing damage. I always ask myself, how can I handle this situation in a way that not only effectively addresses the immediate issue, but also builds our people and culture at the same time.

2. Listening Deeply

I haven't always listened so well in the past, but by the second day in our new office, I was actively stopping and trying to understand what our team members were saying and feeling. It's amazing what I've learned -- and boy, does that build rapport and confidence for both parties.

3. Handling and Unloading Upset

Moving six people into a new office, networking the computers (my computer would not connect to the network), making sure the new phone system worked properly (it didn't), setting up the furniture and equipment (no copy machine for 3 days) -- put us out of commission for a couple of days. This was very frustrating to me. Because I was upset, I used another one of the proven Pathways tools, the Personal Development Framework, to forgive myself and whoever else was involved - and got back on a roll and back to a healthy, proactive state of mind. For our readers who aren't familiar with the Personal Development Framework, here are the two most important questions that help me let go of upsets.

• Are they/past events, going to be the way they are whether I like it or not? (YES!)
• Under the circumstances and with the wisdom and information they/I had, did they/I do the best they/I could? (YES!)

At many junctures, I had to look inside to realize that when I was a bit out of sorts or a little defensive, it was probably an issue with my own Big R - my level of self-esteem - at that point. And no surprise, as soon as I'd rebuild my own Big R, my interactions, and energy would skyrocket.

When I recognize a juncture, I stop and ask myself Forward Focused Questions such as:

• What have I learned so far today that is going to be valuable?
• What has gone well so far today?
• What are some of my strengths that will be valuable in this situation?

I could go on and on, but those four areas of self-leadership have made a huge difference in the feeling, culture and productivity of the whole team in our new offices. And now, sure enough, everything works great and we are even more productive than ever before!

Yes, I use this leadership stuff - and so does our staff. Why? Because it makes our lives so much more enjoyable and productive, and most importantly, because when we operate this way, we add value to the people we care about! Best thing, you don't have to wait for a major event to put these tools into your life for more balance and less stress. Where could you use even one in the next few days?

(c) 2003 Pathways to Leadership, Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.